Find Love. Get Married. End World Poverty.

originally posted 1/10/14 on Open Salon

Marco Rubio said yesterday that the best cure for poverty is marriage. (He was proselytizing about the 50th anniversary of our government's War on Poverty.)  

An online dating expert said yesterday in an interview on NPR that the best way to find a mate is to be financially successful.

Talk about unaligned talking points. WTF!

Where does this all leave me?

I’ve never really considered online dating anyway, even though I’ve been single now since 2002. But I almost got to the point of trying it yesterday until the last minute of that interview.

That’s when the interviewer asked the interviewee what makes for a successful online dating presence?

He said, “Well, the same thing that makes for an attractive presence in real life – monetary success and a great career.”

Oh.  And all this time I thought people were supposed to find their true soul mates based on heartfelt attraction and a cosmic connection. What can I say? I did see about 500 Grateful Dead shows.  

I've made a career out of being financially unsuccessful. How? Kismet I guess. And the perfect storm of stupid career choices and lateral moves. Bad marriages. Stubborn independence. Being outspoken at the wrong times with the wrong people. Questioning of authority, sleeping with the wrong people. You name it. Usually, just when I start to make progress I’m really good at undermining myself.

I always thought that my independent streak and unwillingness to settle made me more attractive and lovable.

Now I come to find out that because I’m unsuccessful in life, I stand no chance of finding a mate on E-harmony or that new one, “Our Time,” because of this too. The whole thing really hit me hard. Wake up call. Depressing. 

So, I’ve been mulling this over for a day now and I’ve decided to disagree with the online dating expert man. As for Marco Rubio, he and his worthless suggestions about how to solve the war on poverty can simply go to hell.

Do you know how hard it is to go through your whole adult life and raise three sons (three wonderful successful sons, no less), on your own without ever really punching a corporate clock, collecting any type of welfare, doing anything illegal and living to tell about it? You have to be pretty damn creative and clever.

When you look at it that way I think I’ve done ok for myself. If I want to be caught at some point, maybe I’ll be a good catch in spite of myself.